The Perfectionism Paradox: Why High Standards Hurt High Standards

I took a brief for a recent search where the board chair said to me, “I need someone who will not make mistakes.” I told him, that person doesn't exist. And if they did, you couldn't afford them.

Perfectionism has become the socially acceptable language of fear at work. We admire the people who double-check everything, who never drop a ball, who refuse to hit send until the email is flawless. We call them professional. We call them passionate. Deep down, many of them are scared witless.

The tricky thing is that perfectionists genuinely care about high performance. They want to deliver something brilliant. But the science is clear. High standards and perfectionism are not the same thing.

Researchers describe two paths. One is the pursuit of excellence. It is driven by growth, craft, learning, and contribution. People on this path bounce back quickly when things go wrong because mistakes give them information. Give them another opportunity to cultivate a "Growth mindset."

The other is the pursuit of perfection. It is driven by evaluation, comparison, and fear of being judged. It looks like care, yet it creates hesitation. Instead of moving toward the goal, people avoid anything that puts them at risk of failure. Studies show that perfection strivers are slower to make decisions, recover poorly from setbacks, and often achieve less than those who focus on excellence.

That is the paradox. The higher the fear of getting things wrong, the harder it becomes to get things right.

When perfectionism becomes part of the culture, the organisation pays the price.

• Teams become tense and cautious.

• Creativity drops because new ideas feel dangerous.

• People do not speak up when something is unclear.

• Problems stay hidden until they are too big to ignore.

• High performers burn out, often quietly, because they feel like they are one mistake away from being exposed.

Leaders rarely intend any of this. They believe they are lifting standards. In reality, they are lifting fear.

There is another way to hold high standards. The most effective leaders shift the focus from flawless outcomes to strong progress. They make early drafts visible. They reward curiosity. They allow people to test ideas without reputational risk. They celebrate the moments where someone says, “I tried something and it did not work, and here is what we learned.”

Excellence depends on learning. Learning depends on mistakes. The math is simple.

If a team looks busy but stalled, if decisions take too long, if smart people are struggling to finish important work, perfectionism might be the quiet culprit. And it will not be solved by telling people to relax. It will be solved by creating the conditions where they can stop proving themselves and start improving themselves.

You can have high standards or you can have fear. You cannot have both.

Excellence is a direction. Perfection is a dead end.

If you are curious how to reduce perfectionism risk in leadership transitions, team integration, or early tenure performance, I am happy to share what we are seeing work inside forward thinking organisations.

Send me a message or comment “Excellence” and I will reach out.